| | It started because I needed to make my very private form of exhibitionism more exhibitionist. In other words, to help me get used to the idea of strangers having access to the glimpse of a private universe I choose to reveal.
It worked to some extent, I'm more relaxed about sending my work for publication and I actually get some sleep while it's being considered or if it's being published. I no longer feel like someone is trespassing. The unknown audience is no longer in my nightmares.
It also didn't really work, because the unknown audience still exercises its censorship over my real writing, even in the case of the stupid, oh-so-hated script. They tell me it will never really go away, it will just diminish with time. So, I'll live with it.
But this experiment is also starting to have a negative effect. I find that in a DIY system in which publication is only one click away, my own critical sense is waning. I catch myself applying the same condoning attitude to the book I'm writing that I apply to any random blog entry. On top of the latter actually cannibalising the emotional resources initially put aside for the former.
For these reasons, this experiment is now over.
Besides, I'm tired of virtuality, and oh so ready for reality. If you want to know how I am, consider actually asking me. It's true, in flesh, I have scars. But they've turned really beautiful lately.
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| | Posted 9/22/2007 9:02 PM - 141 Views - 4 eProps - 48 comments
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